Hope

The silence falls
as the small voice whispers,
"You are alone."

The darkness grows to consume time and space
and the black hole of existence
draws in and traps joy,
expelling despair.

A star falls
and in its infinite beauty,
a snowflake forms on the horizon of the future.

"You are alone?"

Sunlight splinters
off the crisp blanket of spring
and the silence falls
into the glow of the morning dew.

An Autumn Afternoon

For the most part, the weather has been wonderful this fall.  It's been cool and comfortable, which has been perfect for sitting out on the deck and soaking up the warm sun.  I've taken the opportunity the last couple of weeks to read or type or just enjoy the fall landscape of the backyard.

Add a tasty smoothie into the mix, and it's hard to top such a relaxing autumn afternoon.  The recipe I've been using is my adaptation of this one. A few quick notes:  I haven't tried using molasses instead of brown sugar, but I think it would taste wonderful and I didn't have any flax seed on hand, otherwise I would have used that in place of the oats.

Cinnamon Spice Smoothie

1 banana, broken into chucks and frozen
1 c. milk (I guesstimate, so I probably end up
    with more than a cup)
1-2 ice cubes
1 rounded tbsp. brown sugar
1 tbsp. rolled oats
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
a dash of nutmeg

Blend all ingredients until smooth.

We Are the Reformation

I know I'm a little late on this since Reformation was a week ago, but I still wanted to share my thoughts on the subject and introduce one of my favorite hymns (which isn't saying much since I have many of them).

Reformation, which falls on October 31st, is often observed the Sunday before.  This year, my pastor said something in his Sermon that caught my attention:  we are the Reformation.  It's true; the Reformation isn't just some historical event that we celebrate once a year.  It isn't a remembrance of a man, Martin Luther, who challenged what the church was teaching in his day.  We do certainly remember the work of Martin Luther and what it has meant for the church since then, but that is not what the Reformation is about.  It's about Christ, His redeeming work, and the delivery of God's gifts in Christ through the Word and the Sacraments.

We are the Reformation when we preach and teach Christ and Him crucified.  We are the Reformation when we proclaim God's forgiveness to a broken world given to us in Word and Sacrament.  We are the Reformation in a modern church that has forgotten that we cannot do anything to save ourselves.  The Reformation never ended.  It is continued today because we live in a world still broken by sin that still needs to hear the Word.  We are the Reformation.

There are many hymns that confess what the Reformation is.  "A Mighty Fortress" is perhaps the most familiar; however, I would like to reflect briefly on "Water, Blood, and Spirit Crying", number 597 in the Lutheran Service Book (LSB).  The text is written by Stephen Starke, a modern hymn-writer who has written the texts for, contributed to, and provided translations of over thirty hymns in the LSB, including "Scatter the Darkness, Break the Gloom" (#481), "The Tree of Life" (#561), and "We Praise You and Acknowledge You, O God" (#941).  You can find the full text to hymn 597 on Starke's blog.  With a powerful minor tune and setting by Jeffrey Blersch, the text presents all of the major themes of the Reformation.

Stanza one, based on 1 John 5:7–8,  reminds us that God comes to us through Baptism, the Lord's Supper, and Scripture.  It is these means of grace that deliver to us the redemption won for us by Christ on the cross. Stanza two is all about Baptism.  Through it, we die with Christ so that we are not consumed by "death's raging flood."  In the third stanza, the focus is the Lord's Supper.  Notice it is Christ doing everything.  We can do nothing.  It is Christ who gives us His life-giving body and blood.  The forth stanza describes the two-edged sword of God's Word giving life to a dying world.  The last stanza bookends the hymn by mirroring the first.  The three witnesses, spirit, water, and blood, together proclaim that it is Christ who has defeated death and it is Him who has given us life eternal.

my pumpkin this Halloween/Reformation

The Thistles Are Thin

I'm shivering a little as I begin typing this.  The sun is setting behind the mountains, and with it, the temperature is dropping.  Oh! but what a lovely evening it is outside!  I'd rather not leave my perch on the deck, even though the warmth of the house calls me.  I was just finishing a bit of reading, and I couldn't help but continue to sit, enjoy the view of the backyard, and think of a walk I took out back just the other day.

I read a lot of interesting articles online, many of them shared by friends on Facebook.  Earlier this week, I read this article on walking.  It inspired me to don a jacket and walk around in my backyard.  In a way, it was a bittersweet experience, reminiscent of a childhood spent racing along the tops of dirt mounds and packing a hard trail among the rock piles below. Those same trails are now over-grown and the hills that once seemed tall are dwarfed by my adult self.

I noticed other things, too, as I walked.  Everything is green.  As a result of the heavy rains we got in August and the light snows we've gotten this month, the vegetation is flourishing, despite the fact that winter is lurking right around the corner.  There is one lone rhubarb plant left, long suffering from neglect, where there once was many.  The raised flower beds have curled boards that are in want of replacing.  Then there's that tree, behind the shed, a tree that isn't suppose to be there, but is standing there tall nonetheless.  I think I counted about a dozen shrubs that have died, hiding behind the living ones.  Across the way, on the hill we used to try to sled down, another tree plays at being a bush.  Whether it lost its top or grew up misshapen where another had died, I don't know.  And the thistles!  Wait, where are the thistles?  Usually they grow  thick, and one has to be careful to avoid stepping on them.  Stickers we used to call them.

Our lives are so busy in this modern age.  TV or the internet or our cellphones are always vying for our attention.  How much we miss when we don't stop to enjoy all the little details around us!  Spending some time outside this week as been refreshing.  Putting aside all the distractions that lie inside and getting outside for a bit is a wonderful thing.

Challah!

Even though I have managed to pick up a few "fancy" cooking techniques over the last couple of years, I do not consider myself much of a cook.  I do, however, consider myself a very amateur baker.  Not necessarily the cookies and cakes sort of baker, although I certainly have done some of that too.  No, I love baking bread. There's just something about being able to feel the dough beneath you as you work it with your hands and the all time and effort it takes to craft a tasty, wonderful-smelling loaf of bread. Today, I tried my hand at making challah, a Jewish bread that is known for being rich and sweet.

Besides just wanting to bake bread, I had an ulterior motive:  I'm going to make french toast later this week. Now this won't be just any french toast: I've got my eye on a recipe from Alton Brown.  I'm a huge fan and I greatly enjoy watching reruns of his show Good Eats, an entertaining exploration of food and science.  On one of the episodes, he set out to make the perfect french toast using, you guessed it, challah. After doing a little bit of research, I decided that I would use a modified version of this recipe.

I was a little worried because my dough was a bit dry.  I haven't quite figured out how much more liquid I need to add to recipes when I use half AP (all purpose) flour and half whole white wheat flour.  Even though I added extra water, it wasn't enough.  I'm also wondering if part of the problem was that the whole white wheat flour I used wasn't as finely ground as the stuff I've used in the past.  It felt a bit grainy today as I was trying to knead it.

Also, challah is typically braided, and I couldn't quite figure out the directions I was trying to follow for a six-stranded braid.  My attempt is on the right; the other loaf is braided with four strands.  Don't they look delicious?

The Gleaners: A Revisit

Double post Sunday!  Or, I-never-got-around-to-editing-the-post-for-Thursday-so-I'll-give-you-two-today day!

Today's lectionary included a reading from the book a Ruth, a short Old Testament book that I think tends to get overlooked.  It's a great little book, telling the story of a widow from the land of Moab who, instead of remaining there, chooses to go with her mother-in-law to Bethlehem and trust in the God of Israel.  I find the story of Ruth fascinating.  I know that I do not always trust in God, as Ruth did, but thanks be to God that He remains faithful when I am not and has redeemed me, a lost and condemned person, through Christ!

Speaking of Ruth, I am reminded of a poem I wrote several years ago, which you can read here.  If you'd like to read more of Ruth's story, you can read it here.

Phone Books! Get Your Phone Books Here!

OK, so delivering phone books is not like selling newspapers.  It's more of the UPS meets everybody's favorite solicitor, if there's such a thing as a favorite door-to-door purveyor of things you don't want.  A phone book deliverer is certainly not the latter, but it seems to be how many people view such a person.  How do I know?  Because it's what I did for a couple of weeks earlier this summer, delivering phone books, that is, not watching people deliver them.

This was not my favorite job and it's certainly not something I will be doing again anytime soon.  It's a job that falls in the same category as fast food employee, another job I've done and don't have any inclination to do again. Despite the fact that July is a terrible month to walk around neighborhoods carrying a stack of books neatly wrapped in plastic bags, there are things to be gained from this experience besides a humble paycheck.  While there are many more, here's just two reasons delivering phone books is a job every college graduate should try:

1. It'll make for a great story one day.  When I first walked in for orientation, I got the impression the guy leading it didn't think I would actually be able to do it, and to be honest, I think I, myself, am surprised I managed to follow through with it.  Note, this job is not as easy as it sounds.  But you know what, it'll be fun to tell the kids and grandkids that I did something few people do.

   2. You learn the streets.  Spending so much time with a Google map trying to make sure you know This Street from This Place and This Circle and also that That Avenue starts here and breaks for a couple of blocks before resuming, means you become very familiar with the neighborhood you're delivering in.  I had the privilege of delivering some of the routes out where I live, so last week when I had to go pick something up across the way, I was able to jump in the car and drive over without looking at a map.  While I may never  again be in some of the areas I delivered to, I gained some valuable insight into how to navigate unfamiliar neighborhoods, some useful knowledge indeed when eventually moving to an unfamiliar city.

A Book Brief: Gulp

I'm a terrible person:  I start reading a book, and then I never finish it.  I check it out from the library, only to return it once I've reached the renewal limit.  So it's a pretty significant feat that I've finished TWO books in the last month or so.

I first learned about this book while listening to an interview with the author on NPR.  Long drives back and forth from school are made so much more enjoyable by talk radio.  At any rate, I learned some interesting things from listening and it sounded like an interesting book.  Then, I was in the library one day and I happened upon a copy of this book.  Why not? The interview was engaging, maybe the book will be too.  And so it came to pass that I checked out Gulp by Mary Roach.

In a nutshell, its about all the things you ever wanted (or didn't want) to know about human digestion, from the smell of food all the way down to how it's expelled.  It would be easy to make such a topic rather dry and textbook-like, but Roach's style is quite the opposite:  I thoroughly enjoyed her stories of people she met and experiences she had on the way to writing this book.  From the dog food industry to what may have killed Elvis, Gulp is an adventure in topics not normally discussed in polite circles.  And it made me chuckle on more than one occasion.

So if you're up for an in-depth exploration of your innards, I highly recommend Mary Roach's Gulp.

Desert

I am lost,
in a blizzard of answers,
seeking quiescence,
in the sunrise of knowledge.

And I will raise my voice,
calling for change of day,
calling for no!, somehow,
crying for change. . .

Will I ever find my way,
from beneath the shadow of silence,
through the cave of lonesome,
into the moonrise of autumn?

Reflections on Contemporary Worship

Several years ago, I wrote this draft post, but never published it to my blog.  I've done some editing and decided it's time it saw the light of day.

There seems to be a misconception younger generations prefer a more contemporary style, whether it be in music, furniture, religion, etc.  As such, in our churches today, there is push for rock-band, pop-style music to dominate the worship service.  This has become true even within historically traditional, conservative church bodies, including the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS), but is this type of worship music really beneficial to our worship?

As a young confirmand, I went through Luther's Small Catechism and learned to ask the "Lutheran" question, "What does this mean?" Unfortunately, time seems to have dampened Lutherans' ability to really mean it when they ask this question.  The result?  We read through our Catechism and we do our memory work and we take for granted what we're being taught.  We stop questioning and started accepting.

Once we start accepting what we are doing in worship without question, then our churches start thinking that contemporary is the way to go.  The younger generations love rock concerts and pop hits. It's what they want, right?  Let's add it to the service then!  But there's a problem with this kind of thinking.  The contemporary worship style tends to shift the focus.  The band is up front.  The focus is on them.  The music is loud.  The musical focus is on the beat and the rhythm and not the words.  There is applause after each number; it is for the performers.  Much of the music (although certainly not all) is upbeat, with quick tempos and major keys.  The audience leaves feeling joyful, full of life, whatever the music conveys. The service is all about the music and the praise that is being given to God.  Does God really need our praise?  Is there really anything that we can do for Him?  Isn't it He that has done everything for us?  Where are the gifts He has given to us received?

Today's culture is all about me.  It's about what I want, what I feel.  I want this new awesome technology.  You hurt me; my pain is your fault.  Doing this is what makes me happy.  Contemporary-styled worship follows suite. It's all about the awesome music, the good feelings, the hanging out with peers.

Liturgical worship is not focused on making you feel good.  It's not about the music, the feelings, or the people you're with.  It's about receiving the gifts God has given to you!  The liturgy points to Christ.  The hymns point to Christ.  The readings point to Christ.  The sermon points to Christ.  The pastor even points to Christ!  There is no clapping after a hymn.  It's not about how great the arrangement is or how talented the organist or other musicians are.  That's why musicians are usually not at the front of the church.  It's not about them.  They are trying to get the congregation to pay attention to the words being sung, the words that point to Christ's saving work, for you, and to the gifts of life and salvation, given to you!  And the pastor doesn't wear a slick suit; he wears a white robe of servitude, signifying God has called him to administer the gifts to you!

The liturgical service is not straight-forward with songs and Scripture readings and a message.  It has many different parts to it, many of which retain their Latin labels.  Guess what that means!  We get to ask the question, "What does this mean?"  What's that mean in Latin?  Why is it called that?  Why is it in the service?  What gifts are given through it?

Many today are drawn to contemporary worship, but not everyone under the age of 25 enjoys it.  I am a young person and the contemporary service seems empty to me.  When I attend a liturgical worship service, I do not understand every part of the service, but that doesn't matter.  I know that everything in the service is based off of Scripture and delivers God's gifts to me.  As a young Lutheran, I am intrigued by what I don't understand and I am driven to search for the answers to questions of "What does this mean?"

A Thought on Community

Since leaving for college, I've learned a lot about what it means to live in community.  Community is not only important in the life of the Church, but also in life together with each other, whether it be with friends, family, or the people we live with.  The people in our communities are the ones who support us when we are struggling and who we can support in return.  It is our communities that make us feel that we are important, valued, and not alone in this world.  Some of my fondest memories are connected to some of the strong communities I've been apart of.

I have been struggling in a lot of ways since moving back home.  One of the things that has made the transition more difficult is that I'm still trying to find a sense of community.  I've grown a lot as an individual since graduating high school, and I no longer fit well into the communities of which I was once a part.  This isn't to say I'm not in a community, it's just taking me a while to settle into a new one.

The Seasons Are Changing

We've had it quite warm (in the 80s and 90s) here in my home state until the start of this week.  Suddenly the we're in the 60s and 70s and its been cloudy and rainy!  On my way home the other night, I couldn't help but think how beautiful the mountains were, even though I couldn't see most of them!

the smell of cold and precipitation
the taste of winter on my tongue
a blanket gently draped across the peaks
the thought of summer obfuscated

by the hint
       of fall's arrival.

The State of the Church and Teaching

The Church is dying and few seem to be taking notice.  I've read many an article about how the American Church is losing people of my generation.  These authors discuss how the Church is attempting to draw in and keep young people engaged, but that this is not working.  Many young people are beginning to see through the smokescreen and rebel, or they are turning their backs on the Church.  Why is this?

I've heard it said that my generation is beginning to see the modern American church for what it is:  a cheap imitation of coffee shop, rock concert, have-it-your-way Christianity.  They're tired of the Church trying to appeal to the culture by mimicking the culture.  I think this may be part of the problem, but I don't think that it's the main issue here.

The real problem with American Christianity is that the Church has stopped teaching.  It's succumb to the practice of coming to service on Sunday morning and that will be enough.  Get confirmed in sixth or eighth grade and that will be enough.  The Church is on the periphery and being constantly in the Word and Sacrament is not the center of our lives.

The Lutheran Church has always been a big proponent of teaching and education.  I learned today in Bible Class that the Reformation is what brought about widespread education in Germany, regardless of class, because the reformers wanted to get the Word of God directly into the hands of the people.  A similar thing happened in England.  The time period of the Reformation brought a revival in teaching the people what Scripture actually said.  I would argue that the Church of today needs a similar revival.  We need to teach what we believe and why we believe it because if we don't put the knowledge into the hands of our young people now, there is no way they will pass it on to future generations.

So many people shrug off the traditions of the Church because they're outdated rituals from a previous age.  How many of these same people would brush off these traditions if they really knew what they stood for and why we still practice them?  Education stops at confirmation and it shows in our churches.  Many stop attending once they are confirmed.  If they do still attend, they become disengaged and part of a youth group that is concerned with having fun and not further exploring Scripture and what it means for us today.

Think about other groups, like the Mormons, that continue to educate their youth rigorously throughout high school.  So many of their young people go out into the world ready to defend what they believe and they're passionate about it.  How much more would the Church's youth be able to engage the world if we actually continued to teach them things of substance?

I would propose that we stop watering down Scripture and continue to teach our youth past confirmation age.  Youth group is not enough; we must challenge them to grow by confronting them with the meat of what we believe and why we believe it.

The Lady in Blue

diving,
     sighing,
          pirouetting in a maze of breeze

     swirling,
          twirling,
               dancing on leaves
     
          taking flight on a sunbeam,
               finding solitude in the mists

                         a song in a ceaseless moment

Hymn of the Week

I'm a parish musician (I graduated with my degree in May), so I enjoy hymnody and how it relates to the liturgy, lectionary, and theology.  I won't do this every week, but occasionally I would to explore a hymn.  This week, I'd like to take a brief look at "God's Own Child, I Gladly Say It" (number 594 in Lutheran Service Book).  You can find the full hymn text here.

Why this hymn today?  Well, today we had a baptism.  Every time we celebrate a baptism, we are reminded of our own baptism as we confess with the parents and sponsors.  So too, when we sing this hymn are we reminded that God has cleansed us and freed us from sin, death, and the devil through the waters of Holy Baptism.  In stanza one, we are reminded of the price God paid for us through Christ's death on the cross.  Because of this, we do not need to feel weighed down by our sin (stanza two).  We do not need to heed Satan's accusations (stanza three) and we do not need to fear death (stanza four).  After all, we've been baptized into Christ's death and resurrection!

A quick note on the tune:  in Lutheran Service Book, the tune that is used is Bachofen, a very spirited tune in a major key.  While many people don't think about the tune a hymn is sung to, the character of a tune does a lot for elevating the text.  Bachofen is the perfect tune for this text because it expresses the joy we have in our baptism.  As an organist, I like how this tune lends itself well to the overflowing joy of the first and last stanzas and the dark, reedy, defiance of the middle stanzas.

A New Day for Blogging

I've never been very good at this blogging thing, or journaling, or writing stuff down on any kind of a regular basis.  I'm not good at talking either.  Maybe it's part of being introverted:  I prefer listening over expressing my thoughts and opinions, although I have plenty of those.  At any rate, I started this blog shortly after I graduated high school with the intention of sharing my thoughts about a variety of topics—religion, school, life in general—as a way for me to openly express some of what goes on in my head and in with the hope that maybe I could provide a different perspective to others that would help them to learn something new.  I had such high aspirations and I've done a terrible job coming anywhere close.

Now, I'm going to make another attempt.  It's been almost five years, so clearly things have changed:  I've graduated from college, I'm living at home, and I don't have a job at the moment (the temporary job I did hold earlier this summer is a topic for another post).  So today, this blog is changing too.  For now, the name is remaining the same, but this blog is going to become more alive and active with poems, stories, life experiences, frustrations. . . you get the picture.  Today is Thursday.  The next post will be on Sunday, and then another one on Thursday and so on and so forth.  I have set a goal that from now and into the foreseeable future, you, my readers (for the very of you that there are!) will get to see TWO blog posts from me every single week.

Ready, set, go!

Preparing for Lent

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is all about preparing soon-to-be Directors of Parish Music to enter the field.  One of the topics we recently covered in class was newsletter and bulletin inserts.  As we as a church prepare to enter the season of Lent, a meditation on our own sinfulness and Christ's saving work done to redeem us, I wrote these informative sample blurbs for my class assignment.

What is a Tenebrae service?

The word Tenebrae is Latin for “darkness.”  In the Middle Ages, Tenebrae services were held in the evenings during Holy Week, prior to the Triduum (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Vigil).  Today, Tenebrae services are held on Good Friday.  The service usually includes seven to ten Scripture readings followed by silent time for reflection and the singing of all or part of a hymn.  Readings from the Passion Narrative are typically used, although traditionally the readings were taken from various Psalms.  After each reading, a candle is extinguished.  Once the sanctuary is dark, the service concludes with the strepitus, a loud noise (often a book slamming shut) representing the tearing of the Temple curtain and the closing of Christ’s tomb.  In some churches, one candle, the eternal light, is carried out of the sanctuary until the Easter Vigil.  The people then leave in silence. 

What are the Pre-Lent services?

Although in the three-year lectionary the Transfiguration is celebrated at the end of the season of Epiphany, the one-year lectionary celebrates it several weeks earlier to allow for three Pre-Lent Sundays.  These Sundays are in preparation for the Lenten season and include Christ’s foretelling of His death and resurrection from Luke 18.  We often call these Sundays by Greek terms, Septuagesima (“seventy days”), Sexagesima (“sixty days”), and Quinquagesima (“fifty days”).  While Quinquagesima is fifty days before Easter, the other two Sundays are not exactly seventy or sixty days from Easter. 

Hymn of the Month: LSB 419

This month we explore the Lenten hymn “Savior, When in Dust to Thee” by Robert Grant, a British hymn writer who spent much of his life in India.  The text of this hymn poetically depicts Christ’s saving work for us in the midst of our hopeless sinfulness.  God calls to us to repentance (Ezek. 18:30–32) and so we implore at the end of every stanza “[h]ear our penitential cry!”   Thanks be to God that He has sent His Son to redeem us and wash away all of our sin!

In the first stanza, we sing of our repentance “in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6).  Like the tax collector in Jesus’ parable who “would not even lift up his eyes to heaven,” we sing of how “to the skies scarce we lift our weeping eyes” (Luke 18:13; stz. 1).

Christ, who is God, began His redeeming work of us sinners from the moment He came down to earth.  In stanza two, we remember the humility of His birth at Bethlehem (Luke 2:1–7) and His temptation in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1–11).

Stanza three has us recall the events of Holy Week.  We reflect on Jesus’ prayer at Gethsemane (Mark 14:32–42) and His crucifixion and death (Mark 15:21–39; John19:31–37).

At the end of this stanza we, with David, humbly say “be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day” (Ps. 86:3).  How wonderful it is that He has heard our cry!

The final stanza of this hymn gives us a glimpse forward beyond the crucifixion.  Here, we sing of Christ’s death (Luke 23:46), His burial (Luke 23:53), His resurrection (Luke 24:5–6), and His ascension into heaven (Luke 24:50–53).  While our focus during Lent is on penitence and remembering that Christ came down to bear our sins, we cannot forget that He rose, and because He rose, we too shall rise!

Online sources:

-  What is Pre-Lent

-  Lex Orandi:  Pre-Lent

-  One Year Lectionary and Pre-Lent

-  more about Pre-Lent

-  Hymnary:  Savior When in Dust to Thee

-  Hymnary:  Robert Grant

-  more about  Robert Grant

Print Resources:

-  Lutheran Service Book

-  Gathered Guests, 2nd ed.

A Poem from Before Christmas Break

If a whiteboard could speak,

what would it say?

I have held many secrets.

Shh, don't tell.

I have displayed many lists.

-        lists for work

-        lists for play

-        lists for tomorrow's tasks

-        lists for yesterday's missed opportunities

-        the list goes on

I have held the scrawlings of possible

solutions to many problems.

Some became THE answer.

Many others have failed.

I have been filled with hopes and dreams

of passions and desires

and things that will never be. . .

but then again. . .

In my arms I have held the thoughts and ideas of

the many.  They fade into my background and

become part of my history, a history written

but never again read.  Stories once told

but now forgotten.  If only the letters and

numbers and symbols once gracing my

surface could remain and be remembered.

Oh, the things a whiteboard would tell,

if only a whiteboard could speak.

Refrigerator Poetry

We have some of those word magnets on the frig in our apartment.  These are little snippets that I just happened upon their compositions (my roommate posted a picture of one of them here).

                                                  how gray we dream
                                                    who see the laughter
                                                of which the fire sang

                        though as sky from

                            morning snow

                         tastes like spring

                      so too rain becomes

                              early fall

The Challenges of Growing Up

It's funny how things change once we've grown up.  When I was a kid, I never really imagined or pictured how me and my siblings would turn out.  As a kid, I had an idealistic view of how things were and how things would turn out to be.  Sure, my siblings and I fought, perhaps more than some of my friends and their siblings, but in the end, we were family.  I figured that we would all grow up and become successful individuals.

You never imagine that your future adult selves will end up facing some of the things you do.  You never think that one of your siblings will be making poor choices and struggling with some of the issues that he or she is. You always believe that things will turn out differently than they actually do.  When they don't, it breaks your heart.  It hurts you.  It makes you want to curl up in a ball and dream of a time when life was simple and good and you didn't have to worry about adult things.

But we are in the adult world and we must face adult things.  And worrying about the problems of our siblings will not help them or make the challenges they face any easier, even if we wish it could.  No, the best thing we can do is pray.  It's not the easiest path, but it's the most comforting path, knowing that whatever happens, the God who gave up His Son to give us life will watch over our loved ones and give them, and us, the strength to face whatever it is they are facing.